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Tanner's Story

Tanner's birth story

It was perfect! It was really perfect. I could not have asked for a better birthing, really. I woke up early on Monday morning and went to the bathroom because I felt wet. Since I did not leak a lot I shrugged it off and went back to bed. I woke again with a wet feeling and got up to use the bathroom again. This time I wondered about it for a while. I walked into the kitchen to get something to drink and felt wet again. At this point I woke J. up and told him that I thought my water had broken but that I was not having any labor signs other than that so to go back to sleep but to listen for me in case I need him. I tried to go back to sleep myself but I was too excited to sleep. I took the sheets off the bed and noticed that a spot the size of a washcloth was wet and that convinced me.

I called my doula after a couple hours and told her the situation. I had already gotten J's father over to watch the kids since we were supposed to be headed to the hospital, according to the nurse at my midwife's office. I was still only having [mild surges] though, and did not want a pitocin induction. J. took me to my acupuncturist to try to get labor going, he said it would take about 2-3 hours to really get surges going (we left at 9). While there J. talked to my midwife and told her that I was reluctant to go to the hospital. We went to the office instead to test the fluid. Sure enough there was a leak and she said that today was the day.

We headed to the hospital, because at this point it had been 7 hours since my water had broken. I was firm about no pitocin at this point, so at 12:30 she gave me only a small dose of prepidil on my cervix to see if they could help "ripen" it since I was 1 cm and only 20% effaced. I knew that 4:30 PM was our "deadline" to beat because that was 12 hours after my water had broken. During the half hour that I was to stay in bed after the application, J. and I did several relaxation and hypnosis scripts together. He was perfect in combining the different scripts and techniques to suit our situation and to suit my mood that day.

By 1:00, the surges were regular and getting slightly stronger and I was allowed to get out of bed. J., our doulas, and I went for a walk. We walked the halls for about an hour before we were told that they had to do another test strip on the baby for 20 minutes. By 2:45 I was allowed to get back up again and I labored on the birthing ball for a while with my head in J.'s lap. He continued to do the light touch massage on my arms through each surge, while I quietly breathed my baby down and visualized the rosebud opening to help ripen my cervix. I could actually feel the changes as I did the visualizations. At about 3:30 we decided to get in the Jacuzzi tub and try to get the surges even more powerful and closer together since the "deadline loomed." My doulas encouraged more opening visualizations, then took a walk by themselves while J. and I went into the Jacuzzi tub and followed their suggestion to try nipple stimulation between the surges. It only took two surges to really see a difference, but there was a huge difference. I went from silently breathing through each surge to needing to "hum" through each one. I sat in the tub until about 4:00 or so and then I felt that had to change positions, so I got out. When I got out the surges went from about 3-4 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart immediately. I got in bed so the my midwife could check the progress, and was asked if I wanted to walk, get back in the tub, on the birthing ball, or what after this and I answered that I didn't know and could not talk anymore. At that point, I went within and kept my eyes closed for the majority of the time. I started to get hot flashes and the midwife could not check me for a while since my surges were coming too close together. I kept saying that I felt hot, my doulas helped me to breathe all the way down, my midwife fanned my face with a cool wet washcloth, and J. did a light touch massage. My midwife said that she just had to check (I over heard my doula saying that she thought she could feel me pushing while her hand was on my lower abdomen for breathing).

My midwife checked and said, "You're 9!" and with that came a surge. The very next surge, out came Tanner. :) My body did all the work, there was no need for me to hold my breath or intentionally push at all. My body and my baby took over and did the work. In fact, if someone had told me not to push I am not sure if I could have held my body back from what it was going to do instinctively anyway. The moment that Tanner's body passed through my birth canal, I felt such a relief and an overwhelming feeling of amazement, awe, and raw loving emotion. It is such an incredible feeling to have this slippery little person pass through your body and then to feel his first movement against your legs, followed by the first cry. From the time that the midwife said that she had to check to the moment the nurse announced as Tanner's birth time was 7 minutes. Honestly, I was in a state of euphoria and could not have told you how long it was because to me it was only 30 seconds. I admit, my "birth song" was loud and deeply guttural and I don't think that I could have done it any other way, I felt like I had all the women of the world birthing with me at that moment.

Tanner was perfect, he was covered with vernix, alert and content immediately. We had an incredible nursing staff, who allowed us to do everything just as we wanted, and Tanner was able to breastfeed and to stay on my chest and belly for nearly 2 hours before they weighed him or did any of their other things. We were able to bond with each other, and comfort each other after our short but intense birthing experience. We just looked at each other and felt each other's skin against our own skin after nine months of dreaming of this moment. He was just perfect in every way. By the time they took him for his weight check the vernix had been mostly absorbed back into the skin and he was perfectly pink and soft. J. bathed him, and he was back with me in only a matter of minutes.

If I had to do it all again, I would. I loved birthing. I am sad to think that I will never experience labor and birth again. It was just beautiful. I cannot express how much help my doulas were either. I was not sure what they would be able to do for me since J. and I did so well on our own the last time, but having them there was icing on the cake. They had the perfect suggestions at the perfect times, and said the right encouraging words at the right moments. If I knew then what I know now, I would have had a doula at each of my births. They knew what to say, when to say it, how to touch, how to encourage relaxation, and tips on keeping my birthing plan intact while respecting the changes that had to occur due to circumstances. They were great, J. was great, my nursing staff was great, and it was the ideal birth.

Well.....if you made it through that novel then good for you! :) Seriously, I wish that I had gotten more sleep since going into labor because I would be able to articulate much better how amazing this whole experience was. Each birthing has been so incredible in its own right, and so special, and one might think that because it is the third time that it would be more routine but every time that I have done this I have come away thinking just how incredible it is and how I would love to do it all over again. (I am still getting my tubal though, I love birthing but my family is complete now).

I feel so overjoyed having Tanner. Newborns are so sweet, so precious, and so grounding. I just wish that I could keep him a newborn longer than I will be able to. J. and I are so thrilled at this surprise gift that we were given, because if it had been left to our "controlling planning" he would not be here and what a shame that would be. He is such a beautiful addition to our family, and having him here makes each one of us feel as if we are now complete and whole....and can now go on with raising our perfect little family. That, my dears, is Tanner's birth story.

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