Breastfeeding

This is my journey…

It was never a choice for me before my babies were born.  I would breastfeed.   I would like to say that it is because I’m a health care provider, and that’s what I learned in medical school, but in reality, we had more talks from formula salesmen than breastfeeding experts.  I recall one formula salesperson that told all of us that when we had babies, we could have all the “free” formula we needed for the asking.  Ah, we were so young.  I didn’t even realize then that there is “no free lunch.” 

I was blessed in my internship to have a half day course by Marianne Neifert (aka “Dr. Mom”) who gave us a crash course in breastfeeding management.  Then in my neonatal courses, I did research on breastfeeding… and the more I learned, the stranger it became that anyone would choose not to feed their babies that way.   I knew that there were societal pressures against breastfeeding, but I really didn’t understand what they were until I was older, wiser, and a mother myself. 

So what are these pressures, and how do we get over them?  I have identified several barriers to breastfeeding, and the list gets longer each day.  Rather than identifying each of hundreds of barriers and trying to hurdle each one, what I have found is that there are three basic needs of women to successful breastfeeding.  If each of these needs is met, then it is easier to overcome all the barriers that society puts in our way.  I think of them as the tools in the toolbox for your successful nursing experience. 

Three Basic Needs

1.  Determination.  

Mothers need to have the intention to breastfeed from the start.  Without this basic determination to work, it is difficult for many moms to make it through those first few weeks adjusting to meeting the needs of a newborn.  Setting concrete goals is helpful for many moms.  “I will breastfeed for at least three months” is an example of a good goal.  It sets the expectation of breastfeeding with the “I will” and sets a concrete time that gets her past the first 6 weeks of establishing a good breastfeeding relationship.  Using the phrase “at least” will allow you to re-evaluate your goal and extend it when you reach it.  Then, when you hit your goal time, you re-evaluate your goals, and set your next.  “I will breastfeed for at least 6 months.”  

On the other hand “I will try to nurse for as long as I can” would not be the way to word a goal.   By saying “I will try” implies failure.  “As long as I can” would imply that you could quit whenever you wanted to- in the middle of the night when you are just too tired, or when you are struggling with a problem such as a poor latch.   Setting a concrete goal will help a mother get past these difficult times.   If you were to say “I will nurse for 3 months” you may feel that at three months you were then obligated to stop. 

2.  Support/resources.   

The most determined mother can do it alone.  But it is so much easier with support.  The most helpful support should come from the mother’s family.   However, if she is faced with an unsupportive family or partner, support can come from others.  The best support I ever received came from mother to mother support groups such as can be found at La Leche League or local groups run by a Lactation Consultant. 

One would hope that they could find good support from their obstetrician, midwife, or pediatrician.  Unfortunately, most health care providers are poorly trained in the basics of breastfeeding management, and often give poor, outdated advice that sabotages the breastfeeding relationship. 

Seek out a qualified International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, La Leche League Leader, or Certified Breastfeeding Educator for help when a problem arises, or you feel that you are getting advice from a health care provider that does not sound breastfeeding friendly.  Advice to wean for health reasons (you or the baby), medication use, or hundreds of other “reasons” is almost always unnecessary, and should be discussed with your Lactation Consultant before initiating weaning or introduction of a bottle.  The motto should always be “pick up the phone before the bottle.” 

3.  Confidence.   

Mothers need to trust their bodies to nourish their children.  Most women did not have problems getting pregnant or carrying their babies.  Even those who needed a little assistance with conception were still able to grow their baby from those few cells into a complete little person.  If we can grow and nourish a complete person with our bodies for nine months, why would our bodies fail at nourishing that baby outside our bodies?   This simple belief will go further than either of the two other basic needs:  that our bodies function as they should, and that any obstacles that we encounter can be overcome with the proper support and resources. 

This relates perfectly to my childbirth philosophy – our bodies function perfectly, and it is our fears and outside pressures that get in the way and destroy that natural ability to birth or breastfeed.  By trusting our instincts and tuning out those outside voices, we can succeed at nursing.   Nearly all mothers who stop nursing claim problems with “not enough milk”.  In reality, I have very seldom seen a mother who did not have enough milk, or could not manage to increase her milk supply with a little bit of work and good breastfeeding management.  

I am not going to re-invent the wheel here about discussing latch-on, thrush, increasing milk supply, or any of the other breastfeeding management techniques.  Wonderful information is available online at www.lalecheleague.org or www.kellymom.com, as well as a host of other organizations and websites.  Please visit these sites, become familiar with your local LLL group, and know where you can turn for help.   Pick up the phone before the bottle. 

I want to see mothers supported in their decisions to breastfeed into toddlerhood, and help mothers find their own natural intuition about mothering.   To tap into this intuition, we need to listen to our inner wisdom, and tune out the mainstream parenting magazines.  Get your baby out of the stroller or bucket seat, and put them in a sling.  Forgo the pacifier for on-demand nursing.  Forgo the fancy nursery and crib and sleep with your baby.  Ignore people who tell you to wean, and discover the joys of breastfeeding a toddler. 

This has become my mission – to help mothers succeed at birthing and nourishing, and parenting their children in the way that nature intended.  Gently, peacefully, and enjoyably.  

Blessings to you in your journey.